I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
