For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
