I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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