Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
