I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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