told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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