The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
