gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
