I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
