So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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