the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
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I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
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My penis needs a shock collar
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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