That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
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I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
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I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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