I wish I could punch you in the face.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
