found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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