i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
