K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
