don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
