He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
