Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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