At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
