Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
