yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
