Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
