He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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