woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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