On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
