I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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