i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't trust your balls anymore.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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