She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
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woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
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I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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