you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
