this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
