Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
