yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
