I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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