girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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