I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
