I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
