Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
