So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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