Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
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