see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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