I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
