Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
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