you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
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Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
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Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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