I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA