Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED