you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
These tits shall not be calmed
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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