Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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