I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
