i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
