I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
