break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
