he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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