DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
