absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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