yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
