Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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