well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
