just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
