Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
