He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
