Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
kristin has been a bad kristin
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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