Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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