youre lurking in front of me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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