OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
