A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
