I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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